Dept. of Vegetable Comedy We have here a rare shot of that great but overcooked,uh..overlooked vegetable vaudeville act , "Legs and Legume", here shown in the 1950's on their last world wide tour of the Poconos. Announcer: "And now straight from the loading dock at Safeway, please welcome the comedic stylings of Leg and Legume!"(applause,applause) Legs:  "How ya doin there pointy?" Legume: "You talkin ta me?" Legs: "Yeah I'm talkin to you!" Legume: "You talkin ta me? Yeah! You mean me? YEAH! I just wanted ta know...say you gotta big nose for a cabbage.. I A'int no CABBAGE! Oh you a'int? No,I'm a celery, a reg'lar hor doover, strickly hoot co-tour... Well ya still gotta big nose! Well..you're... I'm what? Orange that's what! Well I suppose you gotta point.. No YOU gotta point! You said that already! Did not! Did Did not! Now don't get excited Whose excited!!?? You are, you're in a stew! Hey watch it!This show ain't Julia Child! Oh I can't stand that woman! Me neither! And all that seasoning! And th' Salt! Yeeech! I said salt Said salt? Season salt? No, salt seasoning... Never use the stuff,makes me bloat up like an artichoke I had a friend that choked on one of those, oddly enough his name was Arty... Oh that's sad, I think I'm gonna cry Watch out for the salt What, in my tears? Why yes.. Not to worry, that's celery salt I see...So you're not into seasoning... No, but I'm in season.. You mean your here for the season... Is that the reason? No,I  mean The Season! Broadway,bright lights,big city! Oh Yeah! I auditioned for Krogers but I didn't get picked! Well , I know a few migrant workers who can fix that... Oh Yeah,you better watch yer mouth,this is a family show! Who's family, yours? I wouldn't worry 'bout them.. Why not? 'Cause they grew up in dirt. Hey watch that! I've got roots I have! Oh yeah, I heard your family came over on a garbage scowl... Bet you ain't got no roots! Of course not! I am one! That explains a lot... Well if you got roots why are you stalking me? Izzat s'pose ta be funny? Not really, I see people are leafing the theatre so I better stop... I think you better quit while you're ahead... Hey you're the cabbage not me! Oh yeah...Hey, I got a great idea! Please! Don't mention that word! Grates on yer nerves don't it? Say ...didn't I see you in a cassarole somewhere? Naw, that was up on Forty 'toid street What? Where I got rolled... Oh I see,so that explains your lovely demeanor... Yeah the more you tawk de meaner I git! Now don't blow your lid or you'll go all to pot! I'm not goin ta pot you are! No--You're going to pot! Not me! Say, could I interest you in a nice veg-o-matic? No! It slices and dices! Shut up Pinhead!I'm gonna Squash you! That's very funny,who do you think you are, Don Rickles? Leave pickles outta this I'm boilin! Well then I guess you're done. What? I said we're done! Oh..yeah..uh g'nite everbody G'nite folks,and be sure and eat your vegetables.. What'dya say that for ?Are you nuts? No,that's a whole n'other act entirely,I just wanted to get your goat! Goats!? Who opened the gate?! Hey--Who're you kiddin' ,I'm not fresh off the farm ya know! Com'on git off th' stage,Nite everbody!" Announcer: "Hey, lets have a big round of applause for Leg and Legume!" (applause,applause),"funny ,I've got a sudden taste for salad dressing..."           hhhd Head Trip Travel Tips dhhh "The Great Camel Vortex of Giza", a long sought for  vacation spot for meditative regeneration and molecular configeration as well as body overhauls and chakra replacement, (rebates accepted on most brand name models), doesn't actually exist on the physical plane but can be accesed by excessive daydream- ing on an early model "parking meter" mac while waiting for Steve Burgess to render something on the computer on the next desk.Channeled in 1992, it is an early example of "Macromedium" meta- physical ectoplasmic interface,whereby the recipient is placed in an uncontious receptive trance state by a mouse with defective cable, establishing an alpha wave short circuit to the frontal cortex lobe where normally memories of old Fleischer cartoons are stored.The interaction of moronic neuron synapses and the alignment of earth's magnetic fields with those of the Great Pyra- mid have left the scientic community agog in anti- cipation for further devel- opments as well as the long awaited anti-gravational milligan pin , under development in Area 37 ,reputed to be located somewhere in Dinwiddie County. Visitors are asked not to advance  beyond the posted signs or risk fumigation by high ranking postal officials. Sir Duck on Head This picture needs no introduction and I'm certainly not going to try and give one. As the traveler approaches the ancient village of Quac du Fromage,with its aged castle astride the Lac aux Lillipades and  its legendary armory of odd devices, he would be well advised to keep on going to Cannes where at least he  can take in a good movie.The historical significance of this particular find however cannot be understated.While the mysteries of the Knights Templar continue to fascinate and intrique with their ritual secrecy and obfuscation, other obscure corners of medieval life and culture are yet to be explored and by all means should be ignored if at all possible, as they are quite embarasing. The Found Objects page contains items and links that we found to be interesting. Some of these are interesting but do not necessarily serve any useful purpose. We collect them here because we don't know any better.